Bleeding wings
by PpinstripeE
Summary: Soubi is Gone and It's all my fault.Soubi is gone and Ritsukas mothers abuse is getting worse. Will an angel come and save Ritsuka? Or will he not survive from the wounds of his bleeding heart.rated M for rape and abuse
1. Chapter 1:My fault

Pinstripe:Please read and review

Alois:Seriously do she has nothing else in her life

Pinstripe:Shutup -_-

**I do not own loveless or any of its characters**

* * *

><p>Why? Why did I say those words that are now burned into my skull? Why did I say those words I now regret? I call out my fighters name to no avail... "Soubi...Soubi...S-S-Soubi...soubi..." I pathetically weep<p>

I still love him.

He loved me.

I regret everything, I regret saying what I said to him. I regret not taking it back. I regret breaking his heart.

My soul is gone. My soul was eaten up my memories. I once longed for memories, But I don't want them anymore. I just want him back. The memories I once wanted now burn. My memories. Are no longer precious to me, accept for the ones of him. Me. We. Us.

I shake, My whole body...shakes...

It has since I heard about what happened. I'm unstable, I can't take this.

I grip the first photograph we took together tightly...the first day we met, we held hands, we kissed. I pushed him away, I always pushed him away. I'm such a damn idiot. I knew I loved him I just couldn't admit that to myself. But now...

It's too late.

He's gone forever.

And...It's all my fault.

"RITSUKA! RITSUKA! GET DOWNSTAIRS THIS INSTANT!" I ignored the loud and angry call of my abusive mother. I don't have the strength to move. No. I don't have it i my heart to move. "RITSUKA! GET DOWN HERE! _MY_ RITSUKA WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE DISOBEY HIS MOTHER!"

After she was done screeching from the bottom of the stairs I heard footsteps clomping towards my room.

"RITSUKA!" My door slammed open, light flooding into my dark room, the menacing silhouette of my mother. She pushed me off of the bed and onto the hardwood floor, the sharp point of her heel hit my stomach repeatedly, she screamed in rage.

This normally would hurt. But right now i'm completely numb.

She kicked my forehead , blood gushing down my face. She resumed kicking me in the stomach, My body shook more, tears flowing like a waterfall. One final kick made me collapse ad shake pathetically as I vomited violently.

My throat burning as the gross liquid gushed out my mouth. I saw spots of blood mixed with the throw-up.

She stepped on my hand, I cryed out in pain, Vomit dripping from my mouth.

No Soubi to save me this time.

She grabbed my hair and pulled me to stand up, I tried to scream again but no sound came out. She dragged me towards the bathroom, My skin burning as it rubbed against the carpet. She tossed me aside my head clanking onto the toilet bowl, My vision began blurring.

"YOU'RE NOT MY RITSUKA!" She pulled me up, my legs not being able to support me. I saw that our bathtub was full. Why?

Before I could ponder it anymore, I felt water go up my nose, A hand pushing my neck and head into the water. Air was escaping me, I felt my lungs grow heavy. Am I dying? I can;t open my eyes so I can't tell. If I die will I-

Air.

I feel my hair clinging to me. Water pouring out of my gaping mouth. My mother half yelling half screaming but I can't make out the words coming from her mouth. I'm thankful yet disgusted by the air. My body wants to breath to keep living that's why I'm thankful, My mind can't take my life anymore that's why I'm disgusted by the air that fills my lungs.

"Soubi..." The only word I can mutter. Soubi. I'm sorry. Please come back. Please.

I'm losing consciousness, my mind is going with my vision. Maybe...

Maybe I'm dead.

* * *

><p><em>"Ritsuka." I heard that voice call my name, That sweet voice that I now long for.<em>

_"I'm here Ritsuka..." I took in that voice, knowing this has to be a dream but if so i'm enjoying it. "You're lying."_

_"Why do you say that my Ritsuka?" I felt warm arms rap around me but I knew it was just my imagination running away with me. " You promised to never lie..." I sniffled uncharacteristically. "You're not here...You're gone...I should know it's my fault."_

_"Ritsuka, I would never lie to you." I felt lips as soft as petals touch my cheek and light blonde hair move._

_"But Soubi." I gripped onto his shirt. "You are lying."_

_Gentle hands rubbed my shaking back. _

_"You are lying Soubi..."_

_Soft lips pressed against my neck._

_"Because yesterday...you died...because I told you to."_

* * *

><p>Pinstipe:Give me the "emo of the year award" all my fics are so depressing<p>

Alois:*Crying in corner*

Review please

-chu


	2. Chapter 2: Why?

Pinstripe:Loveless fics are always so fun to do

Alois:YOU EMO BASTARD

Pinstripe:But yaoi fans love angst!

Alois:SHUTUP!

**XX I DO NOT OW LOVELESS OR ANY OR ITS CHARACTERS ACCEPT OOC CHARACTERS XX**

* * *

><p><em><span>The day before Soubi's death<span>_

"Ritsuka...do you want me to buy you some ice cream?" I looked away blushing, because I think he noticed me staring at him. "Sure." I simply responded. Soubi squeezed my hand in his large one as we walked towards the ice cream cart in the center of the park.

"What kind?" He smiled down at me. "Vanilla..." I looked away from his grinning face. ((Authors note::Vanilla Wink wink nudge nudge))

I rested my head on his lower side until we reached the sidewalk our shoes clicking and the breeze blowing my hair in my face.

He reached into the pocket of his purple coat and handed the ice cream man 200 yen.

"Thats sweet of you." The ice cream man said giddily. "Buying your little brother ice cream." I coughed annoyed. "He's not my brother." Soubi said putting his hand around my waist. "He's my boyfriend! " I blushed and looked away. Damn Soubi! How can he just say it like that? He's such a pervert!

"Oh well you two are cute together..." The man said awkwardly handing me my ice cream avoiding eye contact, must be a homophobe...

Soubi saw my discomfort and led me away from the cart and towards 'our' spot.

I licked the tip of the ice cream taking in the creaminess of the vanilla, Moaning as I sucked on the cone to suck up all the melted ice cream. Soubi licked his lips, looking at me like he wanted to eat me up.

I tilted my head. "Soubi.." I took another long lick. "You want some?" He smirked. "You have some ice cream on your cheek."

He leaned forward, bending himself over the wooden table. He tilted my chin up so I was looking directly at him. I tried to turn away but my head only slightly turned, my face turning crimson.

"Ritsuka..."

I felt his moist tongue lick off the melted ice cream his tongue slightly going over my lip.

I backed away, feeling a bit shocked. Why did he do that? That felt... weird. "Got it." He chuckled at my reaction. "I could of wiped it off my self!" I pouted before taking another lick at the swirled ice cream.

I sucked on the ice cream swirling it with my tongue moaning again. Mmmm this is good.

Soubi groaned slightly, What the hell is he doing? "Soubi?" I looked up, before dipping my tongue into the ice cream. He gazed at me with a strange look in his eye, sucking on his pointer finger. "It's nothing." He chuckled again.

What's wrong with him? He's so weird...groaning randomly while I eat my ice cream...

I felt something rub up against my leg.

"Hm?" His hand started rubbing my thigh, this felt...funny...I liked it...but I didn't...What is he doing? "S-Soubi..." He leaned over the table again, Slowly getting closer and closer to me, his lips met mine. I dont have a problem kissing Soubi. I don't at all. In fact I like it. But...This is different...His kisses are normally sweet, soft, gentle and he waits until i'm ready...This seems too forced not like my Soubi...

He slowly climbed over the picnic table. He pushed me onto the ground, hovering over me.

Soubi slipped his tongue into my mouth forcing it past my lips.

I want him to stop.

I felt hot tears go down my face, as he continued. I felt his straining erection rubbing against my thigh.

Soubi's large but slender hand slipped down my pants,I whimpered. Please stop Soubi...please... He grabbed my cock and I bucked into his hand, he groaned yet again. I couldn't stop crying, I feel so violated.

He isn't acting like _my_ Soubi.

"Ritsuka?..." I backed away from me shaking. "Oh god, I'm so sorry Ritsuka... I -I didn't mean to.."

I made a small whimper backing away from him, Soubi seems to have returned to his normal self but I'm scared that he'll do that to me again... "I'm so so so sorry Ritsuka...I went out of control..."

He looked upset with himself, Hair rustled , his bandages around his neck loose.

"P-Please forgive me..." His hand reached towards me.

"NO!" I scrambled backwards away from him, tears still streaming my face. "L-Leave me alone! Y-Y-You pervert!" He gasped covering his mouth, a single tear going down his face. "Go away!" I stood up and ran as fast as I could.

"RITSUKA!" I heard footsteps behind me.

My crying was slowing me down, But I can't stop. I felt his hand grab my arm.

I jerked my arm away from him. "Get... away Soubi!" My weeping was causing me to gasp. "I...I...I hate you!" He bit his lip. "You...YOU ...GO KILL YOURSELF! IT WOULD...MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING IF YOU JUST DIED!"

He fell to his knees. "R-Ritsuka..."

I ran again rushing out of the park.

Soubi...Why?

I ran and ran and ran until I reached my apartment, collapsing in tears at my front step unable so move.

Soubi...

* * *

><p>Alois"OOOOh thats why Soubi killed himself...<p>

Pinstripe:Soaking in emoness

Alois:Your creepy

Subscribe, read,review, favorite etc.

thanks for reviewing xXxRainFallxXx, K.V, and promocat

-chu


End file.
